If you
arrive at the conclusion that you need emotional healing, and that many of the
problems you face are a result of bad roots from the past, you may become
anxious to get rid of those roots of the problem so you can be made well. That
is understandable, but it is important to allow the Holy Spirit to lead, guide,
and direct you in that healing process.
God has already sent Jesus Christ to come to earth and purchase your
complete healing. Once that was accomplished, He sent His Holy Spirit to
administer to you what Jesus bought by His blood.
Jesus told His disciples that it was better for them that He go away to
be with the Father, because if He did not go, the Comforter could not come (see
John 16:7). The Comforter is the Holy Spirit. In The Amplified Bible version of
this verse Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our Counselor, Helper, Advocate,
Intercessor, Strengthener, and Standby. During your recovery process, you will
need to experience every facet of the Holy Spirit's ministry.
Seek Only Godly Counsel
Don't run around seeking counsel
from just anyone.
Pray first, asking the Lord whether it is His will that you go to
another human being for counsel, or whether He desires to counsel you Himself.
In my own life I have had many, many problems, yet I never went to
anyone else for counsel with the exception of one time. On this occasion I
visited a lady in ministry who had been abused herself. I do not mean to
discredit her, but she really was not able to help me. It was not her fault;
she simply was not anointed by the Lord to do so.
God is not obligated to anoint what He does not initiate. So often
people run to others without following the guidance and leadership of the Holy
Spirit, and it never bears good, lasting fruit. When you are in trouble, go to
the throne before you go to the phone.
I do not
mean to suggest that it is wrong to seek counsel. I am just suggesting that you
pray and allow the Lord to lead and guide you through the Holy Spirit. Let Him
choose the right counselor for you. Just because a person has been through what
you are going through, or is a close personal friend, does not mean that
individual is the right counselor for you. So I repeat, pray!
I am definitely not saying that you should not seek counsel just because
I didn't. We all have different personalities. I happen to have a strong,
determined, self-disciplined, goal-oriented personality. These
traits helped me to keep moving toward my objective, which was emotional
wholeness. Others may need someone to help them along a bit, someone to assist
them in setting goals for themselves and to keep striving toward those goals.
It is
vital to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the best Counselor.
Either He will help you directly, or He will guide you to someone through whom
He can minister to you. In either case, you should ultimately look to Him for
your help. Even the counsel that other people may offer you will not become
really (a personal revelation from God) to you without the help of the Holy
Spirit. It is also important to realize that God has different calls on our
lives. Since He has called me to teach His Word, it was better for me to
receive the truth I needed directly from Him. However, that is not a rule for
everyone.
The Ministry of the Holy Spirit
Another reason the ministry of the Holy Spirit is so important is found
in John 16:8 in which Jesus says that it is the Holy Spirit Who convicts and
convinces of sin and of righteousness.
Most people who have been abused are shame-based individuals. (The topic
of shame will be discussed in detail in a later chapter.) They feel bad about
themselves. They do not like themselves; therefore, they experience a lot of
guilt and condemnation.
It is the devil who brings condemnation; the Holy Spirit brings
conviction. (There is a difference. I welcome conviction, but I resist
condemnation-and so should you.) Only the Holy Spirit, through the Word of God
and His power to change, can convince a shame-based person that he has been
made righteous through the shed blood of Jesus Christ: "For our sake He
made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him
we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the
righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right
relationship with Him, by His goodness]" (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Jesus
referred to the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Truth and assured us that He will
guide us into all the Truth-the whole, full Truth (see John 16:13). Jesus also
said that the Holy Spirit will prompt our memory: "But the Comforter
(Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy
Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and
act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to
recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told
you" (John 14:26) . Both of these aspects of the ministry of the Spirit
are major areas of assistance for those who are in recovery from abuse. Such
people must get out of their denial and face the truth. There may be things
they have forgotten because they are too painful to
remember, things that will have to be recalled and faced during the
healing process. If the person in charge of the recovery is not led by the
Spirit, he sometimes can take the abused person through the process too
quickly. If too accelerated, it can become more painful than the person can
handle.
I remember a girl who once came to me in a prayer line. She was very
upset and extremely emotional, almost panic-stricken. She began to relate to me
that every week when she went to visit her counselor, it was so painful that it
was almost more than she could bear. In her anxiety, I heard her say several
times, "It is just too much; it hurts so bad, I cannot stand it."
At the time she was speaking, I was praying and asking the Lord to help
me so I could help her. I was actually concerned that she might become
hysterical right there at the altar. Suddenly I received an answer from the
Lord. I felt that probably her counselor was not sensitive to the Spirit and
that she was having this young woman face issues so fast that her mind and her
emotional system were unable to handle it all.
When I
said to the girl, "Listen to me, I think I know what the problem is,"
she quieted down long enough for me to share what God was saying. As she
listened, she immediately began to get some relief. She agreed that what I was
describing was exactly what was happening. I shared with her that during my own
healing process, the Holy Spirit led me to many different resources for
guidance. The first was a book that my husband suggested I read. It was the
testimony of a woman who had been abused as a child. Until that time, I did not
think that any of my problems were a result of my past.
That book was so difficult for me to read. When I came to the part in
which the woman began describing in detail how her stepfather had sexually
abused her, the memories, pain, anger, and rage began rushing up in me from
somewhere deep inside. I threw that book on the floor and loudly exclaimed,
"I will not read this!"
Just then I heard the Holy Spirit
reply, "It is time."
I had been attempting to walk with God for several years when this event
took place. Why hadn't He led me to something that could have helped me sooner?
The answer is because it was not time! The Holy Spirit knows precisely the
right timing in our lives. I always say, "Only the Spirit knows when you
are ready for what." In other words, the Spirit of the Lord is the only
One Who knows what it will take to help you, and when you are ready to receive
that help.
It may
come in the form of a book, a certain speaker, or a friend who says just what
you need to hear at the moment. Or it may come through a personal testimony, or
even a direct dealing from the Lord
Himself. Today may be God's appointed time for you as you are reading
this book. If so, God will use it in some area in which you are hurting at the
present. It may be the beginning of your recovery, the next step in that
process, or even the finishing touch in your long struggle for wholeness.
Many
people who come to me for prayer for emotional healing are concerned and even
distraught because there are portions of their childhood that they cannot
recall. They have been on what I call "digging expeditions," trying
to unearth forgotten memories so they can face them, deal with them, and get
them out of their system. I tell such people that there are still portions of
my own past that I cannot recall. Actually, much of my childhood seems to be
filled with blank pages. I remind people that the Holy Spirit leads us into all
truth and is able to bring many things to our remembrance. But we must allow
Him to do the leading in this sensitive area. I have put Him in charge of my
memory. I truly believe that if remembering something from my past is going to
help me, then I will recall it. If it will not help me, is unnecessary, or
would even be harmful for me to remember, then I am thankful that I cannot
recall it. I believe that sometimes what we do not know cannot hurt us.
Obviously, this is not always the case. Many times people experience
great relief by recalling some traumatic event, dealing with it, and then
getting on with their lives. Sometimes, if memories have been
shut out on purpose and suppressed deep within the recesses of the mind,
they will poison the entire system. In that case, the memories must be exposed
before wholeness can be established. Yet, here again, it is important to
remember that if this process is not done with the leadership and guidance of
the Holy Spirit, it can be harmful and actually cause even more damage to
already wounded emotions.
The Holy
Spirit is gentle, tender, considerate, kind, loving, and patient. Yet, He is
also powerful and mighty and able to do what people can never do on their own.
The psalmist says, "except the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain
who build it; except the Lord keeps the city, the watchman wakes but in
vain" (Psalm 127:1) . I spent many years of my life waking and laboring in
vain. I encourage you not to waste the most precious years of your life trying
to "do it yourself." Seek God and His plan for your recovery. He will
lead you one step at a time, and you will be transformed "from glory to
glory" (see 2 Corinthians 3:18 kjv).
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