Confidence
has been defined as the quality of assurance that leads one to undertake
something; the belief that one is able and acceptable; the certainty that
causes one to be bold, open, and plain. If you think about this threefold
definition, you will see why the devil attacks anyone who shows any degree of
confidence.
People who have been abused, rejected, or abandoned usually lack
confidence. As we have already mentioned in previous chapters, such individuals
are shame-based and guilt-ridden and have a poor self-image.
The devil begins his assault on personal confidence whenever and
wherever he can find an opening, especially during the vulnerable years of
childhood. Even while a child is still in the womb, the devil initiates his
ultimate goal of total destruction of that person. The reason is simple: An
individual without confidence will never step out to do anything edifying to
the kingdom of God or anything detrimental to Satan's kingdom, and therefore
will never fulfill the plan of God for his life.
Expected Failure + Fear of Failure = Failure
Satan does not want you to
fulfill God's plan for your
life because he knows that you are part of his ultimate defeat. If he
can make you think and believe that you are incapable, then you will not even
try to accomplish anything worthwhile. Even if you do make an effort, your fear
of failure will seal your defeat, which, because of your lack of confidence,
you probably expected from the beginning. This is what is often referred to as
the "Failure Syndrome."
No matter how many wonderful plans God has in mind for you, there is one
thing you must know: God's ability to bring His will to pass in your life is
determined by your faith in Him and in His Word. I f you truly want to be happy
and successful, then you must begin to believe that God has a plan for your
life and that He will cause good things to happen to you as you put your trust
in Him.
The devil
wants you and me to feel so bad about ourselves that we have no confidence in
ourselves. But here is the good news:We do not need confidence in ourselves-we
need confidence in Jesus!
I have confidence in myself only because I know that Christ is in me,
ever present and ready to help me with everything that I attempt to do for Him.
A believer without confidence is like a jumbo jet parked on the runway with no
fuel; it looks good on the outside, but has no power on the inside. With Jesus
inside us, we have the power to do what we could never do on our own.
Jesus died for our weaknesses and inabilities, and He is willing to
impart to us His strength and ability as we place our confidence (our faith) in
Him. In John 15:5, He teaches us this important principle: "Apart from Me
[cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing."Once you learn this
truth, when the devil lies and says, "You can't do anything right,"
your response to him can be, "Perhaps not, but Jesus in me can; and He
will, because I am relying on Him, and not on myself. He will cause me to
succeed in everything that I put my hand to" (see Joshua 1:7).
Or should the enemy say to you, "You're not able to do this, so
don't even try, because you will only fail again, just as you have in the
past," your response can be, "It is true that without Jesus, I am not
able to do one single thing; but with Him and in Him I can do all that I need
to do" (see Philippians 4:13).
Whenever the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
If you read the Bible all the way through to the end, you will see that the
devil's future is very bleak. Actually, he is already a defeated foe. It is
written in Colossians 2:15, "[God] disarmed the principalities and powers
that were ranged against us and made a bold display and public example of them,
in triumphing over them in Him [Christ]and in it [the cross]" (emphasis
mine).
You can resist
the devil's temptation to live in fear and regret, because Jesus triumphed over
his plans, and made a public display of his disgrace in the spirit
realm. Satan is operating on borrowed time, and he knows it better than
anybody (see Revelation 12:12). The only power he has to use against us is what
we give him by believing his lies.
Always remember: The devil is a
liar!
Speaking of Satan, Jesus said, "He was a murderer from the
beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him.
When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar
[himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false" (John 8:44).
The Lie About Self-Confidence
Everyone talks about self- confidence. All kinds of seminars are available
on confidence, both in the secular world and the church world. Confidence is
generally referred to as "self- confidence" because we all know that
we need to feel good about ourselves if we are ever to accomplish anything in
life. We have been taught that all people have a basic need to believe in
themselves. However, that is a misconception.
Actually,
we do not need to believe in ourselves-we need to believe in Jesus in us. We do
not dare feel good about ourselves apart from Him. When the apostle Paul
instructs us to "put no confidence in the flesh" (see Philippians
3:3), he means just what he says-do not put confidence in yourself, or in
anything
We do not need self-confidence; we need God-confidence!
Many
people spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find that
when they get to the top, their ladder was leaning against the wrong building.
Others struggle, trying to behave well enough to develop a measure of
confidence in themselves, only to endure repeated failures. Both of these
activities produce the same results: emptiness and misery.
I have found that most people fall into one of two categories: (1) They
never accomplish anything, no matter how hard they try, and end up hating
themselves because of their lack of achievement, or
(2) they have enough natural talent to accomplish great things, but take
all the credit for their achievements, which fills them with pride. Either way,
they are a failure-in the eyes of God.
The only truly successful person in God's eyes is the individual who
knows he is nothing in himself, but everything in Christ. Our pride and
boasting are to be in Jesus alone, and He is to have all the glory (credit due)
for whatever accomplishments we may achieve.
In actuality, every person does have confidence (faith). The Bible
confirms this fact in Romans 12:3.
We are all born with a certain amount of faith; the important thing is
where we put it. Some put their faith in themselves, some in other people, some
in things-and then there are those who actually put their faith in God. Do not
be concerned about yourself, your weaknesses, or your strengths. Get your eyes
off of yourself and onto the Lord. If you are weak, He can strengthen you. If
you have any strength, it is because He gave it to you. So either way, your
eyes should be on Him and not on yourself.
Without true confidence (in Jesus), you will create
many complicated problems for yourself. Here is a partial list:
You will never reach your full potential in Christ (as we have discussed
in detail).
Your life will be ruled by fear and filled with torment.
You will never know true joy, fulfillment, or satisfaction.
You will grieve the Holy Spirit Who is sent to bring God's plan to pass
in your life but Who is never able to do so without your cooperation.
You will open for yourself many doors of endless torment: self-hatred,
condemnation, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of man, perfectionism,
people-
pleasing (which eliminates the possibility of being a God-pleaser),
control and manipulation by others, etc.
You will lose sight of your right to be an individual-the right to be
yourself.
This last danger is the one I would like to examine now. We have looked
at the others to some degree in the first part of the book, but this last one
is of major importance and deserves more consideration.
Confidence To Be An Individual
In 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 and Romans 12:4-6, Paul teaches us that all of
us make up one body, yet each of us is an individual member of that body. This
is a truth that is very important for us to grasp because we make ourselves
miserable and stifle the power of God in us when we try to be something or
someone we were not designed to be.
We have
often heard it said that we all came out of different molds, meaning that no
two of us are exactly alike. There is nothing wrong with being different from
each other! God had a purpose in creating each of us differently. If He had
wanted us to be alike, He could easily have made us that way. Instead, our
uniqueness was so important to Him that He even went to the extreme of giving
each of us a different set of fingerprints!
We are all part of one plan, God's plan. Yet each of us has a different
function, because each of us is an individual.
I define individual as separate, distinguished by specific attributes or
identifying traits, distinct or unique.
For years
I thought I was weird-now I know that I am unique!There is a big difference. If
I were weird, it would indicate that something about me got messed up and did
not turn out the way it should have; while my being unique indicates that there
are no others like me, and therefore I have special value. You should believe
that you are unique, special, and valuable.
Don't Try To Be Someone Else
One of my unique identifying traits is my voice. Most women have soft,
sweet voices, but mine is deep and firm. Quite often when someone who does not
know me calls our home, he will think the man of the house has answered the
phone. I was not always comfortable with this very unique trait; in fact, I was
insecure about it. I thought my voice was just plain weird!When God called me
to teach His Word, and I began to realize that I would one day be speaking over
public address systems (loud speakers) and even have a radio and television
ministry, I was
terrified! I thought that surely
I would be rejected because I sounded so different from the way I thought a
woman should sound. I was comparing myself with what I perceived as normal.
Have you ever compared yourself with someone else? How did it make you
feel?
We are not to compare ourselves with others, but let Jesus be our
example and learn to reflect the presence and personality of the God Who
indwells us.
Diamonds
have many facets. God is like a flawless diamond, and each of us represents a
different facet of Him. He has placed an expression of Himself in each of us,
and we corporately make up His Body. What if our bodies were totally made up of
mouths or ears, arms or legs? We would have no trouble speaking or hearing,
carrying, or walking, but what about the other functions? What a mess we would
be if it had been God's intention to make us all exactly alike.
Why is it that we struggle so much trying to be like someone else,
instead of simply enjoying who we are? Because we believe the lies of the
devil. We believe him, that is, until we hear the truth of God's Word, and the
truth that we believe sets us free.
God's grace will never be available to you to become another person. He
created you to be you-the
best"you"you can be!
Forget about trying to be someone else. That is always a mistake, because
usually the person you choose to be like, the person who "has it all
together," is not the way you Let me give you some examples:
Example One
At one
point in my life I decided that my pastor's wife was the "ideal
woman." She was (and still is) a sweet lady: petite, cute, blonde,
soft-spoken, gentle, mild, and endowed with the gift of mercy. I, on the other
hand, with my deep voice and straightforward, blunt personality, did not seem
very sweet, gentle, mild, or merciful. I tried to be that way, without much
success. I actually attempted to lower the volume level of my voice and change
the sound of it to seem more "feminine," but I only ended up sounding
phony.
This lady and I could not seem to get along. Though we wanted and tried
to be friends, it just did not seem to work out. Finally, a confrontation
between us revealed that I was not really enjoying her because her presence put
me under pressure to be like her. The really interesting thing that we both
discovered was that Satan had sold her the same pack of lies I had bought; she
was struggling to be more like me! She was trying to be less fragile and more
forceful, to deal with people and things more directly and with greater
boldness. It is no wonder that we could not have a successful relationship-we
Remember this:God said that we "shall not covet"(Exodus 20:17)-and
that includes someone else's personality.
Example Two
My next-
door neighbor was a sweet girl who was gifted in many different ways. She
sewed, had a garden and canned vegetables, played guitar and sang, did various
kinds of arts and crafts, wallpapered, painted, wrote songs-in short, all the
things I could not do. Since I thought I was "weird" anyway, I did
not appreciate the talents I did have. I only thought about what abilities I
lacked and all the things I could not do. Since I was called by God to teach
and preach His Word, my desires were different from those of many of the women
I knew. While they were attending interior decorating parties, I was home
praying. I was very serious about everything. It seemed to me that there was
something very heavy going on inside me. While other women were relaxing and
having a good time, I was constantly comparing myself to them, always feeling
that something had to be wrong with me. This kind of feeling occurs when people
are shame-based and insecure about who they are in Christ.
I did need to learn to "lighten up" a bit and have some fun,
but God was doing something in me that needed to be done. He was causing me to
see the
mess that some people's lives were in, and calling me to help them out
of that mess through His Word. I needed to be affected by the weight and
seriousness of other people's problems.
I was in
a waiting period during which God was not using me; it was a time of
preparation, stretching, and growing which lasted about one full year. During
that year I decided it was time for me to become what I called a "regular
woman." I bought a sewing machine and took some sewing lessons. I hated
it, but forced myself to continue. Sewing was not something at which I excelled
either. When a person has not been gifted in an area, he is just plain no good
at it.
Sewing was such a struggle for me! I kept making mistakes that caused me
to feel even worse about myself. I finally managed to get through enough sewing
lessons to make a few garments for my family, which they dutifully wore.
I also decided that I should grow and can tomatoes. They were just
beginning to look good, almost ready to be harvested, when a swarm of bugs
attacked them overnight and left huge black holes in all of them! But I was
determined to can tomatoes because I had already purchased all the canning
equipment. So I went to the farmers' market and bought a bushel of tomatoes! I
worked and sweated, sweated and worked, until I finally got those tomatoes
canned! Once again, I hated and despised every second of it,
but thought I was proving that I was "regular." Through these
very painful experiences, I learned that I was miserable because God would not
help me be something that He had not created me to be. I am not to be someone
else-I am to be me, just as you are to be you.
Be Yourself!
You have a right to be yourself! Do not let the devil steal that right
from you!
If someone you know is a good Christian example in manifesting the
character of the Lord or the fruits of the Holy Spirit, you may Want to follow
his example. The apostle Paul said, "PATTERN YOURSELVES after me [follow
my example], as I imitate and follow Christ (the Messiah)" (1 Corinthians
11:1). Following a person's example is entirely different from trying to be
like that individual in personality or gifts.
I strongly encourage you to think this over: Are you accepting the fact
that you were not created like everyone else, that you are a unique individual?
Are you enjoying your uniqueness, or are you at war with yourself as I was?
So many
people are waging a private war inside themselves, comparing themselves to
almost everyone they come near, which causes them to judge themselves or the
other person. They conclude either that they should be like other people, or
that
Lies!!!
None of
us should be like anyone else. Each of us should be the facet of the Lord that
He intends for us to be-uniquely individual-so that corporately we may
accomplish God's plan and bring glory to Him.
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