Jesus taught His disciples to pray, "And forgive us our debts, as
we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given
up resentment against) our debtors" (Matthew 6:12). He was speaking about
asking God to forgive our sins, and He referred to them as "debts." A
debt is something that is owed by one person to another. Jesus said that God
will forgive us our debts-release them and let them go; act toward us as if we
had never owed Him anything.
He also
commanded us to behave the same way toward those who are in debt to us. Once
again, let me say that this may sound difficult, but it is much more difficult
to hate someone and spend your entire life trying to collect a debt that the
person can never
pay. The Bible says that God will give us our recompense (see Isaiah
61:7-8 below). I never paid much attention to that scripture until some years
ago, while studying in the area of forgiveness and releasing debts. Recompense
is a key word for anyone who has been hurt. When the Bible says that God will
give us our recompense, it basically means that God Himself will pay us back
what is owed us!
Memorize these scriptures concerning God's giving us our recompense:
Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense;
instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited];
everlasting joy shall be theirs.
For I the Lord love justice; I hate robbery and wrong with violence or a
burnt offering. And I will faithfully give them their recompense in truth, and
I will make an everlasting covenant or league with them. (Isaiah 61:7-8)
We will
discuss double blessings again in later chapters. Several other scriptures say
that God is a God of recompense and that vengeance is His. Isaiah 49:4 is the
one the Holy Spirit used in my life: "Then I said, I have labored in vain,
I have spent my strength for nothing and in empty futility; yet surely my right
is with the Lord, and my recompense is with my
To seek
vengeance is to attempt to pay people back for some harm they have caused. The
problem is that revenge is always in vain-it does not remove the hurt or
restore the damage. It actually causes more pain and damage.
I certainly labored in vain for many years. The word vain means
"useless." If you labor in vain, your efforts are useless. It will
wear you out physically, mentally, and emotionally if you try to pay back all
those who hurt you, or all those whom you have hurt. Many times those you are
hating and trying to take vengeance on are out having a good time, not even
knowing or caring how you feel. Dear sufferer, this is laboring in vain. As the
scripture says, I had spent my strength for nothing; all my effort was futile
until I learned to look to God for my recompense.
Recompense is a word similar in meaning to workmen's compensation. If
you get hurt on the job while working for God, He repays you. Recompense also
means reward. According to the Bible, God Himself is our reward (see Genesis
15:1), but He also rewards us by doing special things for us, giving us
"joy unspeakable" (1 Peter 1:8 kjv), and the peace "which
passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7 kjv). God has blessed my life
to such a degree that it is often hard to actually believe that it is really me
who feels so good and is so blessed.
For a long time I was filled with hatred and resentment. I was bitter,
had a chip on my shoulder, and felt sorry for myself. I took out my feelings on
everybody, especially those who were trying to love me.
You must remember that what you are full of, you also have to feed on.
When you are filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment, not only do you
poison other relationships, but you poison yourself as well. What is in your
heart will come out in your conversation, in your attitude, even in your body
language and voice tone.
If you are full of poisonous thoughts and attitudes, there is no way to
keep them from affecting your entire life. Turn the business of debt collecting
over to the Lord Himself. He is the only One Who can do the job properly. Align
yourself with His ways, and He will collect your debts and repay you for all
your past hurts. It really is glorious to watch Him do it.
I Am Willing, But How?
Write
down all the debts you owe and all those owed to you. I am speaking of debts in
the spiritual realm, not financial debts. Write across all of them, Canceled!
Say aloud, "No person owes me anything, and I owe no person anything. I
cancel all debts and give them to Jesus. He is now in charge of paying back
what is owed."
If you have hurt someone, you can certainly tell that person that you
are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Please do not spend your life trying to pay
back others for what you have done to them-that is useless. Only God can make
it up to them. Here is a practical example.
While I was raising my children, I was still having lots of emotional
ups and downs due to abuse in my past. Having been hurt and not yet knowing
God's ways of doing things, I ended up hurting my own children. I did a lot of
screaming and yelling. I had a bad temper-and no patience whatsoever. I was
just plain hard to get along with, and difficult to satisfy.
I laid
down many rules for my children. I gave them love and acceptance when they
followed my rules, and I got mad when they did not. I was not merciful. I did
not realize that I was treating my children the way I had been treated as a
child, which is what most people do who have been abused.
As a
result of years of living in a war zone, my older son developed some emotional
insecurity and personality problems. There always seemed to be a spirit of
strife between us, and, in general, we just never got along with each other. Of
course, after receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit and studying the Word of
God, I wanted to repair the damage I had done. I wanted to make up to my son
for the way I had treated him. You might say that I wanted to pay
him back for the hurt I had caused. Realistically, I did not know how to
repair the damage I had done. I apologized, but I did not know what else to do.
For a while I fell into the trap of thinking that I should give him everything
he wanted; after all, now I was in his debt. My son has a strong personality,
and, at that time, he was not walking with the Lord. He learned quickly how to
make me feel guilty. He was manipulating and controlling me emotionally, as
well as trying to use my new relationship with the Lord to his advantage.
One day as I was attempting to correct him about his behavior, he
responded by saying, "Well, I would not be this way if you had treated me
right." My reaction was "normal" for me at that time; I
retreated to another room to feel bad about myself.
However, this time God showed me something. He said, "Joyce, your
son has the same opportunity to overcome his problems that you do. You hurt him
because someone had hurt you. You are sorry, and you have repented; there is
nothing more that you can do. You cannot spend the rest of your life trying to
undo what has already been done. I will help him, if he will let Me."
I knew I was to tell my son what the Lord had told me. I did, and I made
a decision that I would stop trying to pay him back. He went through a few
rough years, but he finally got more serious with God and started on his own
road toward healing and
maturity. He is now the director of World Missions for our ministry, and
also one of my good friends, as well as my son and co-laborer in Christ.
I really encourage you to examine this area in your life and allow God
to recompense you. His reward is great. There is always a time of waiting where
the things of God are concerned, but if you will keep doing what you know God
is asking you to do, your breakthrough will come. You will make mistakes; when
you do, just repent and go on. When a baby begins to walk, he never does so
without falling down many times. He just gets back up and starts again for his
destination. Come to Jesus like a little child. He is holding out His arms to
you-head in His direction. Even if you fall down often, get up and keep on
going.
Before this chapter comes to an end, I would like to reiterate this
point: Not only do we fall into the trap of trying to pay back people who have
hurt us, but sometimes we take out our hurt on others who actually had nothing
to do with causing it.
For years
I tried to collect my emotional debts from my husband, just because he was a
man, and I was in relationship with him. This is a widespread problem. Some
women hate all men because some man hurt them. A boy who is hurt by his mother
may grow up and spend the rest of his adult life hating and abusing women. This
is a type of debt collecting. Please realize that such behavior does not solve
the
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