CHAPTER 18 FREE TO REJOICE WITH OTHERS

 A true indication of emotional healing is evident when one who has been abused can rejoice when others are blessed. In the previous chapters, we discussed the principle taught in Romans 12:14, which says, "Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them." But the Word of God also teaches us to "rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief]" (Romans 12:15).

 It is easy for abused people to be envious of those who have never suffered the way they have. But I feel it is important to encourage those who have been abused to rid themselves of envy and jealousy so they can enjoy complete emotional healing.

The Lord brought this need to my attention when I was ministering a word of encouragement to several people in a meeting.

Suddenly, my husband came on the platform because God had put a strong word in his heart that he needed to share. Dave said, "Five or six people just received a personal word from God through Joyce's ministry. But there is a room full of people sitting

here who are jealous and thinking,I wish it had been for me."And he continued, "God plainly spoke to my heart and said to tell you, 'Until you can be happy for other people when they are blessed, you will never have these kind of things happen to you.'" It really affected people to see that they were jealous even over a word of encouragement that God had given somebody else.

We can envy the spiritual gifts another person has. I used to wish I could sing, and so I would listen to people with great voices and think, I wish I had a voice like that.

One day God said, "You know, I put that gift in other people for your enjoyment, not for you to resent that they have it and wish that you had it." He said, "I didn't put that gift in them for them; I put it in them for you."

In the same way, the gifts of God that are in me are for other people. My gifts give me responsibility and hard work, but what they give other people is enjoyment. So we are supposed to enjoy each other's gifts, and not be jealous. God put something in me for you, but He also put something in you for me, which really removes our need to be jealous of each other.

I believe that one of the major causes of jealousy is insecurity, which is a lack of knowledge of what it means to be in Christ.

The devil lies to us and tells us that other people are better than we are. He successfully deceives us with negative thought patterns such as:If I could just have what he has,or,If I could just be like her,or,If only I could do what they can do. We think that if we were like others, then we would be as "good" as they are. This kind of wrong thinking causes us to become filled with jealousy and envy. One of the Ten Commandments is, "You shall not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's" (Exodus 20:17).

To covet means "to wish for enviously."11 Envy is defined as "painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage."12To be jealous is to be "intolerant of rivalry;" or "hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage."13A jealous person does not even want others to have what he has. In other words, being as good as someone else is not enough to a jealous person. That does not satisfy him; he wants to be better than the other person.

The Old Testament Law stated that a person had to earn God's favor by perfection and by continually offering sacrifices to make up for his imperfection. This was impossible! If people worked and struggled hard enough, they might be able to keep the first nine commandments. But that tenth one- "Thou shall

not covet"-they could not keep, because it had to do with the heart and desire of the individual.

To be righteous by the standard of the Law, a person was required to keep all of the Law perfectly. Keeping most of the Law was not sufficient. Therefore, all people were trapped by the commandment against coveting their neighbor's house or his servants or anything else he might have. This one commandment itself speaks loudly and clearly of just how desperately mankind needed a Savior. We human beings had to have help or we could never have hoped to stand clean before God.

Under the new covenant, every person's worth and value is based strictly on being "in Christ" by virtue of believing in Him totally as everything that individual needs. Christ is our Righteousness. We are made right, not by having what someone else has, but by faith in Jesus. Understanding this truth brings a sense of security and completely eliminates the need to be jealous or envious.

Parts of the Same Body

One of the best examples God has ever given me to get a point across came to me one day while I was teaching on jealousy. Use your imagination and think of this: I have one body, but it is made up of many different parts. Each of the various parts of my physical body is different. Each looks different, serves a different function, and has different

capabilities. Some parts are more visible, while some are hidden and rarely ever seen. (In 1 Corinthians 12 the apostle Paul uses this same example by comparing the body of Christ to our physical body.)

My finger gets to wear a ring, and my eye gets the pleasure of seeing the finger wear that ring. However, the eye never gets to wear a ring. Now if the eye were to get jealous and begin to complain, and to want a ring of its own, and if God were to decide to keep the jealous eye happy by granting its request, just think what a mess my body would be!

If you were to take a ring from your finger and attempt to wear it on your eye, you would quickly understand this message. If the eye were wearing a ring, the head would have to be tilted upward in such a way that the eye could no longer give guidance to the rest of the body, because it would be unable to see.

Therefore, point one is that when we are trying to be something God never intended for us to be, it prevents us from fulfilling our God-given function in the body of Christ. Also if the eye were trying to wear a ring, it would be unable to enjoy seeing the ring on the finger, which is the pleasure God in tended the eye to have. Remember: The finger gets to wear the ring, but the eye gets to see the ring. The eye was created to enjoy seeing what the rest of the body has been given. Point two is obvious: When a person is trying to be something he was not intended to be, it

prevents him from the enjoyment that would be his if he would take his rightful place in the body and be satisfied with fulfilling the part God designed for him. I personally believe this is one reason so many people who are going to heaven are not enjoying the trip.

As I said, God dropped this example into my heart while I was teaching. He expounded on it by using hands and feet as a further illustration. Think of this: When my feet get new shoes, my hands are so glad that if my feet are not able to get the new shoes on without some help, my hands help my feet into their new shoes!

This is the way the body is supposed to act-no part being jealous or envious of another part. Each part knows that the Lord created it uniquely for a purpose. Each part enjoys the function it has been assigned in the body, realizing that in God's eyes no one part is any better than another.

Having a different function does not make one part inferior to another. Each part is free to enjoy its place and role and to help other parts when needed without any hesitation. The hand does not say to the feet, "Well, if you think I am going to help you get your new shoes on, you have another think coming! Actually, I think I should have shoes also; I am tired of only wearing gloves and rings. I want to have shoes of my own so I will be like you."

No! This is not the way the hands respond when the feet get new shoes and need help putting them on. And this is not the way we should respond when someone we know needs some help. We should be ready to give others all the help we can in order to see them become all they were intended to be and to enjoy all the blessings God desires to pour out upon them. Ask yourself: "Am I wearing my ring on my eye, or my shoes on my hands?" If you are, no wonder you are miserable and lacking in joy.

In the third chapter of John's gospel, the disciples of John the Baptist came to him and reported that Jesus was beginning to baptize as John had been doing and that now more people were going to Jesus than were coming to John. This message was carried to John in a wrong spirit; it was intended to make him jealous. The disciples who brought the report were obviously insecure and being used by the devil in an attempt to stir up some wrong feelings in John toward Jesus.

John answered, "A man can receive nothing [he can claim nothing, he can take unto himself nothing] except as it has been granted to him from heaven. [A man must be content to receive the gift which is given him from heaven; there is no other source]" (John 3:27).

What John was saying to his disciples was that whatever Jesus was doing, it was because heaven had gifted Him in that way. John knew what God had called him to do, and he knew what Jesus was called

to do. He also knew that a person could not go beyond his call and gifting. John was saying to his followers, "Be content." He knew that God had called him to be a forerunner for Jesus, to prepare the way for Him, and that when it was time for Jesus to come to the forefront, he had to become less visible to the people.

Here are John's words to his disciples in reply to their statement regarding the crowds who were flocking to Jesus: "He must increase, but I must decrease. [He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so]" (John 3:30) . What a glorious freedom that John enjoyed! It is wonderful to feel so secure in Christ that we do not have to be in competition with anyone.

Freedom From Competition

The apostle Paul wrote, "Let us not become vainglorious and self-conceited, competitive and challenging and provoking and irritating to one another, envying and being jealous of one another" (Galatians 5:26).

Instead, Paul exhorts us to grow in the Lord until we come to the point that we can "have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison" (Galatians 6:4).

Thank God, once we know who we are in Christ, we

are set free from the stress of comparison and competition. We know that we have worth and value apart from our works and accomplishments. Therefore we can do our best to glorify God-not to try to be better than someone else.

Quite often people ask my husband or me what it is like for Dave to be married to a woman who does what I am doing. I am the voice on the radio, the face on the television; I am the one who stands on the platform in front of the people; I am the one who is most seen and talked about. In other words, I am the focal point of our ministry. Dave is the administrator, an important function, but a background position. His work is behind the scenes, not out front as mine is.

Our situation is unique in that it is usually the other way around. Generally, in a team effort, it is the man who occupies the focal position, while his wife works behind the scenes to help him. My husband happens to be secure enough that his sense of worth or value is not affected by what he does or does not do. In fact, he is so secure that (in obedience to the Lord) he has been able to help me be all that I can be in Christ. He is content to help me fulfill the call of God on my life, and, in the process, is fulfilling God's claim on his own life.

Dave's call and his position are certainly just as important as mine. They are just not as noticeable by the public. As administrator for the ministry, he

oversees the finances, locates and contracts with radio and television stations interested in carrying our Life In The Word broadcast, carefully watches over all the stations that already carry our broadcast to make sure they are bearing good fruit, and handles all of our travel arrangements. At our meetings, Dave loves working behind the table where our teaching tapes are displayed, talking with the people, and ministering to them. I have asked him numerous times to share the platform with me, and his reply has always been the same, "That is not where I am supposed to be. I know my place, and I am going to stay in it." That is the statement of a mature, secure man.

People have a tendency to ask Dave, "Are you Joyce's husband?" He usually replies, "No, Joyce is my wife."

Dave fulfills many, many important functions in our ministry, but in summing up his role, he usually says, "I am called by God to be Joyce's covering, to get her where God wants her to be. I make sure she does not get hurt, and I see to it that she does not get in trouble."

Sometimes there are things I want to do that Dave will not allow because he feels that they are unwise or that the timing is wrong. I will not say that it is always easy to submit to his desires if they are not mine, but I have learned that his gifts bring balance to our lives and our shared ministry.

Dave wrestled with our situation for a couple of years in the beginning. Actually, he did not want to be in ministry at all. However, God showed him that He had given me the gift of teaching His Word. Dave says, "God did not ask me to submit to my wife, but He did ask me to submit to the gift He put in her." He says that God showed him that the gift was His and that by submitting to that gift and allowing me to do what He had called me to do, Dave was submitting to the Lord Himself.

Dave not only allows me to do what God has called me to do, he helps me do it. I consider it a great honor to be married to Dave Meyer. As far as I am concerned, he is the greatest man I know. He is also the happiest, most contented person I know. When I say that Dave is always happy, I mean it literally. He enjoys life to the fullest. I believe, and so does Dave, that this joy is a result of his submitting to God and not trying to become something that the Lord has not called him to be. He is not in competition with anyone. He is not trying to prove anything to anyone.

Securely Rooted And Grounded

My prayer from the beginning of this book has been for you to be "rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it]" (Ephesians 3:17-18).

When we are free from the need to compete with other people, we are free to help them succeed. When we really know who we are, we do not have to spend our lives trying to prove our worth and value to ourselves or to others.

Dave knows he is important to God, and so, what the world thinks of his position as compared to mine does not concern him at all. I believe that Dave's decision and life can be a testimony to many. There is much to be done in the kingdom of God, and it will best be accomplished if all of us work together in whatever individual capacity God assigns us.

Let us all lay aside jealousy, envy, competition, and comparison. Remember, these problems are rooted in insecurity. The good news is that we can be free from insecurity and, therefore, free from the problems it causes. Isaiah 54:17 says in part: "This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord." That means that part of our inheritance as sons and daughters of God is security! Start spending your inheritance now. Rejoice for others and enjoy the contentment, satisfaction, peace, and joy that come from knowing that God loves you and views you as righteous and valuable through your faith in His Son Jesus Christ. Be firmly rooted in and securely grounded on His love for you.