IDPs: Number drops from 60,000 to 18,958

The National Emergency Management Agency says  the number of Internally Displaced Persons in Yola, Adamawa, has dropped from 60,000 to 18,958.

Mr Sa’ad Bello, the Head, NEMA Operation Office, Yola, disclosed this on Friday during an oversight visit by the Senate Committee on NEMA to the IDPs camp in Damare, Yola.

A statement signed by Mr Sani Datti, Head, Media and Public Relations of NEMA, quoted Bello as saying that the drop is as a result of voluntary return of the IDPs to their homes.

While expressing satisfaction with the progress so far made in the camps, Bello said there was tremendous enrollment of school-age children in schools.

“So far, over 900 Internally Displaced Children enrolled in various camps in the state,’’ he said.

The Senate Committee Chairman on NEMA, Sen. Abdulazeez Nyako, commended the agency for its consistence in rendering humanitarian services in Nigeria especially to the less privileged.

He said the committee was satisfied and convinced with the way NEMA was managing available resources and taking proper care of the IDPs.

However, Nyako noted shortage of water supply in some camps as a serious problem and promised to invite the Ministry of Water Resources to address the challenge.

“We are going to support NEMA to lead and coordinate all activities of humanitarian organisations in the country,’’ he said.

NAN

BENEFIT OF GRATITUDE

How often do you feel thankful for the little things around you, the big gestures and the presence of loved ones in your life? If your answer is “frequently,” chances are that you’re a much happier and satisfied person than someone that doesn’t feel thankful.
Gratitude is simple – all that you have to do is say a couple of words to express your emotions. The psychological and physical health benefits of gratitude, however, are tremendous and worth pointing out.

Still not certain whether you should be expressing gratitude on a regular basis? Here are some of the biggest benefits you’ll get to enjoy if you decide to do so.
The Health Benefits of Gratitude.

Cultivating gratitude as a virtue will impact both your physical and psychological health. Numerous studies have been carried out and the vast majority concludes decisively that something as simple as a positive emotion can have a profound impact on wellbeing.

According to University of California Davis researcher Robert Emmons, people that perceive gratitude as an inherent trait tend to be much healthier than the ones that experience it as solely a temporary state of mind. The main reason for this difference according to Emmons is that grateful people tend to take better care of themselves and be more health-conscious.

In addition, grateful people tend to be bigger optimists than the ones that aren’t grateful frequently. A link has already been established between a positive outlook on life and improved immune response.

Gratitude is also a tool for effective stress management. Chronic stress is one of the triggers behind a vast range of health problems, including heart disease and certain types of cancer. Feelings of thankfulness act as an emotional release, enabling individuals to cope better with stress and reduce its negative impact on their bodies.

Psychological and Emotional Benefits of Gratitude.

We’ve already taken a peek at some of the ways in which gratitude could impact psychological health. The fact that it can be used to control stress is one of the most important mechanisms in which gratitude could reduce anxiety and depression.

The psychological and emotional benefits of feeling thankful go well-beyond stress management, however:

Increased mental strength.

Gratitude could speed up recovery after a traumatic event, several studies suggest. It speeded up the recovery of Vietnam war veterans and enabled them to cope better with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Higher self-esteem.

An interesting study was published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology in 2014. According to the research, athletes that were grateful managed to deliver optimal performance each time and have higher confidence than their peers.

Reduced aggression.

Grateful people tend to be much more empathetic towards others, even when other people aren’t reciprocating the sentiment. In addition, grateful people are much less likely to retaliate against others and they find it easier to control aggression.
Overall improvement in psychological health.

People that are inherently grateful find it a lot easier to deal with negative emotions like envy and greed. These people are less likely to feel frustrated or resentful. As a result, grateful individuals are in a better state of mind and enjoy a stable emotional state.

Improved relationships with others.

Grateful people have healthier attachments to others than people that don’t practice mindful gratitude. Studies suggest these individuals tend to feel less lonely and more a part of a community. Others see them as more altruistic, open and positive, which is also a major factor for the great relationships such people are likely to have.

What does It Take to Practice Mindful Gratitude?

You can do several very simple things to make gratitude a part of your everyday routine. Building these habits will help you internalize the emotion and turn thankfulness into a state of mind.

Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the simplest things you can begin doing. All that you need is a notebook. Make a daily entry in the journal (for example, before going to bed) and list a couple of things that you’re grateful about.

Another simple thing you can do is try to give at least one compliment on a daily basis. Pay attention to the people around you, their accomplishments and contributions to your happiness. By complimenting people, you’ll become more mindful of your surroundings and everything positive in your life.

Gratitude is easy in positive circumstances but how about the tough times? The manner in which you handle those can also help you cultivate gratitude. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself or allowing the sense of loss to take over, think about the lesson you could learn from the situation. Negative experiences can be incredibly beneficial later on in life, as long as you’re willing to do some analysis and learn from your mistakes.

Finally, you may want to partner with someone – having a friend or a significant other to participate in the process alongside you will definitely make things a whole lot easier. Share your gratitude journals and talk to each other, especially when one is feeling down. Having someone to lift you up and give you a push can make all of the difference in the world, especially at times when you find it very difficult to experience gratitude.

What about you? What 3 things are you grateful for today?

GIVE AND TAKE

Life, as they say, is give and take. You putthings in and you take things out. The same is true for relationships where a balance of give and take is a sound recipe for long-term satisfaction.The basic system give and take is basically an investment, or 'bucket', system. Sometimes we put things into the bucket and sometimes wetake things out. And by and large, the bucket is on average partially full. The classic example is a bank account, where we save for the future and take money out for important purchases. Slightly more complex is our career, where we invest in study and hard work and reap the rewards of pay, promotion and personal fulfilment.Some systems are always positive, for example the money in your wallet. When it runs out, it cannot be less than zero. Yet if you borrow money, your net wealth can go negative, for example when you owe money to the bank. Debt is a source of much woe, often caused byshort-term motivations, which makes it anotable persuasive lever.The overall behavioral impact of the system is that it encourages people to seek balance. If I take, then I must give in return. In order to take when I am in need, I must first make deposits. We hence seek to keep our accounts positiveat least to the degree of an adequate safety net for future needs, with more risk-averse people with good self-control sustaining a larger average credit level.A more complex give and take is in our relationships, where we give and take time, support and emotion to and from other people.Giving typically implies generous supportthat is gratefully received, yet this is not always the case. We can foist things on people or give only reluctantly. And we may be desperate or unwilling to receive.Likewise, taking can range from grateful acceptance of a kind offer to coercive demands. Both give and take can hence be positive and negative in intent and involve corresponding positive and negative emotions.The equation of reciprocityThe way we behave in balancing give andtake is driven by the personal and socialneed for fairness. Relationships extend this to work through the force ofreciprocity, where there is a strongobligationto repay what you are given. Ifone person owes too much to the other, resentment and conflict may arise and the relationship may consequently fall apart.An exact balance is not always required astrustacts to make this a 'sloppy' system. The greater the trust, the more negative the balance can become before concern about repayment arises. If I trust you then I will give a lot before I seek to take in return, confident that you will repay me at some time in the future.In each relationship there is a bucket system of 'social capital' where we make deposits and withdrawals from the bucket. The exact currency is difficult to define but could perhaps be approximated with the formula (emotionx time). If you spend two hours helping someone, and they spend an hour helping you, then, if the emotional exchange is equal, they still owe you an hour.Emotional complexityThe problem in balancing the books of social exchange is that emotion is a complex variable. If you help me for an hour and I am very grateful, then I may feel a need to help you for three hours doing something in return. Gratitude is hence a powerful driving emotion in social exchange. When I help you, it is your gratitude that is the deposit in my account that motivates you to repay me, not just the fact that I helped you.Other emotions complicate the situation.For example if I help you and expect you to be grateful, then my feelings of expectation will give me the impression that I have earned a certain amount of social capital, and that my bucket is a little fuller as yours is a little emptier. Yet if you are not that grateful, you will not think you owe me that much. In fact if you did not need or want my help then you may think you owe me nothing. And if you see my help as an intrusion or an attempted 'robbery' in forcing me to oweyou in return then your feelings of resentment will tip the balance the other way as you believe I owe you some reparation for the wrong done.In this way positive and negative emotions have opposite effects on the social capital bucket, and the stronger the emotion, the bigger the effect. If you hurt me in any way, then you owe me. If you help me then I owe you.Love and hate are enduring emotions that have a big effect on give and take. If I love you then I will give much. Even if you do little in return, I will feel good for having helped you and hence effectively reward myself with good feelings rather than expect things from you. The extreme form of this is unconditional love which, as the name suggests, expects nothing in return. Love can also complicate the bucket when it leads to lower expected reciprocity. My expressions of love for you may make you feel that I expect little. This can cause resentment and anger that results in recriminations that erode the love, effectively 'killing the golden goose'.Hate is often based in the belief that the other person owes a great deal, which justifies attacks that take much from them. When others refuse to repay what we believe they owe us then our emotions become negative and hence motivate harmful action. Just as unconditional love does not consider what is given, blind hate is not concernedwith what is taken. Both can upset the bucket and confuse the social capital account, though each is likely to beget itself. Love very largely creates love and hate mostly creates hate. Love results in much reciprocal giving while hate leads to battles of blow-by-blow taking.The wider effectWhile give and take is important in individual relationships, its broader power is in the creation of society. As relationships deepen and trust increases,we may take from one person and give to another. For example a person in a happy relationship will be kind to others, effectively sharing the social capital gained from their relationship partner.This is helped by the fact that emotional exchange is often unconscious. When I help you, I may not realize the value I provide and so do not expect much in return. This gives you the scope to help others without emptying the bucket. The overspill thus created keeps society afloat in a sea of social capital.Social capital can be gained indirectly when others see you helping people and doing good things. When they appreciateyour actions in conforming with social norms, their approval effectively acts as putting a few social credits into your bucket. Politicians know that they can make huge gains from widespread publicapproval, so they seek to champion popular causes and otherwise appear 'good'.Within this social system there will be nettakers and givers: those who take advantage of the trust and looseness within the system and those who pay for the takers. Givers may be unwilling, feeling as the downtrodden poor. They may also be those who have a seemingly deep well and who pay themselves internally, feeling good just for helping rather than needing material repayment from others. It is this intrinsic system that gives society its net positive social capital and which allows us to live together in large groups.Laws often result from failures of people and society to maintain a balance of give and take. They remind us to give and they take from takers with material and physical punishment. Laws protect the vulnerable from those who would take advantage. They also redistribute wealth from those who have taken more than others.So what?To gain social capital remember that you need to gain gratitude or appreciation. It may be a high integrity approach to always do the 'right thing', but if nobody knows then you gain only satisfaction.To create gratitude, satisfyneedsand help people achieve theirgoals. This can be amplified by getting them to realize the depth of their needs and the urgency of their goals. When they are desperate, even a little help will be gratefully received.To gain appreciation, ensure witnesses toyour good deeds, especially those who will tell others about your noble actions. If there is nobody to spread the word, you may have to do it yourself, though be modest in this as 'blowing your own trumpet' can lose you points.

The Importance of Give and Take in Relationships

“Give and take” is a mechanism inherent to all personal relationships – you cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn. Once the balance between give and take is broken, difficulties arise and partners feel they are not getting too much from their relationship. The real problem is, in fact, not giving enough – you reap what you sow, as the biblical saying puts it.Have you ever been in arelationship where one person did nothing but give and the other only received selfishly? In some cases, those who give all the time don’t allow themselves to receive anything in return – thisproblemneeds to be addressed as well.Let’s consider an example:Joe and Sarah are a married couple. Sarah does the housekeeping by herself, runs errands, and makes sure Joe has everything he needs, from preparing his breakfast to ironing his shirts. She also joins him at sporting events and action movies, even if she doesn’t really enjoy them. One time, Sarah asks Joe to join her at a play she wanted to go to for ages, but he refuses. Sarah feels very disappointed and starts complaining about all the times she never received anythingin return.In other couples, the situation is slightly different:Alice has had a very busy week: one of the children got sick, she had to finish an important project at work, and her friend asked her to take care of her dog while she was away from town. Her husband, John, offered to clean the house for the weekend, but she refused replying that he would not do it the right way. On the other hand, Alice is so tired every evening that she falls asleep as soon as she jumps into bed and they never have time to talk to each other or spend time together.In both cases, “give andtake” doesn’t function well; in the first example, Joe needs to become less selfish andlearn how to give, whilein the second story, Alice should stop being a perfectionist, delegatesome of her work, and learn how to receive.Is your relationship similar to one of the two cases? Here are some ways to fine-tune daily interactions with your partner and achieve a perfect balance between give and take:5 Ways to Improve YourRelationship1. Conversation.Conversationis not just about exchanging information; people talkto each other to share feelings, to get relief, and to re-assure themselves when they are dealing with problems. Common mistakes in a conversation are talkingonly about yourself andnot being an active listener. Speak about your problems and concerns, but also offerthe other person the chance to talk as well and really listen to them, instead of interrupting and focusing again just on your person.2. Mutual help.Has your wife preparedyour favorite dish last week-end? If she asks you to help her buy a new dress, join her and be patient while she tries on every outfit. A relationship where one partner does all the efforts and the other always refuses to provide help to the same extent is misbalanced and unfulfilling.3. Giving compliments.Compliments are a vitalpart of a healthy relationship. Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – on top of the pyramid we have self-actualization. Oftentimes, your partner needs you to observe their personal growth and recognize their achievement or qualities. From telling your spouse how great they look before going out to dinner to showing your admiration for their results at work, a well-thought and honest compliment every day can make wonders in your relationship.4. Accepting flows.Nobody is perfect, that’s for sure, but some people react more negatively to theirpartner’s mistakes. Each time you get angrybecause your spouse left home this morning without washing the dishes, think about a similar situation where you didn’t meet their expectations either, butthey reacted less violently. Is the fight worth it, after all?5. Giving space.Being involved in a relationship doesn’t mean you should be together 24/7 and not accept your partner’s decision of spending time separately. Understand that peoplein a relationship can have their own hobbies or do activities with other people as well, and also enjoy your time alone – it will do both of you good!Putting these pieces of advice into practice may be difficult in the beginning, or make you feel awkward. But, if you feel your relationship needs improvement, doing things the same way as you always have won’t make a difference. Find your missing part of theequation and learn howto be both a giver and areceiver!